Monday, July 27, 2009

Booth Babes--The true sign of a developed nation


It comes as no surprise to me or my pet hamster that females in what some might call stripper outfits are, with possibly the exception of free pizza and/or beer, are wonderful and powerful way to sell a product, whether it's a replica Ryuken Katana from the late Hirohito period or... a video game!

"Booth babes," as they've come to be known, are merely the latest manifestation of an ancient tradition dating back many a millennium (blogspot just taught me that millenia is not a word--who knew? Anyway) to the day Ugh traded Sny to Fft for twenty Psa. Sny, an alluring young woman with the least hairy armpits this side of Qr, was so tantalizing to Fft that he was willing to give up all the food he had foraged for during the autumn harvest. Needless to say, Fft died that winter but not before having the most mind blowing love making sessions our primitive ancestors probably had ever seen. So in the end who was the winner? Fft by a longshot, as Ugh was stuck with hagged and old Rut, practically in the grave at the age of 27. He did get to live a long time thanks to the Psa, but I think we all know who the real winner of that deal was.

My point is, women sell stuff, and it's unfortunate that so many countries have yet to realize this. Look at Saudi Arabia--it's not so hot when you get the model's hands chopped off for accidentally glancing in her eyes when she's try to sell you on 1002 Arabian Nights, the sequel, and her Boshiya accidentally slips. Not to mention the embarrassment of a Boshiya slip, my God.

But China, China has totally got it and is totally if not tacitly fine with it. Not just the standard chick selling cars at international auto shows by metaphorically stroking your newly purchased manhood fine with it, but even video game fine with it. Why is there a difference? Because car drivers are mostly successful men, whereas gamers, especially in China, are scrawny or bulbous teenagers with a serious overload of hormones that have caused countless JIMP moments. So when you add booth babes to the mix, you might as well be lighting a stick of dynamite in a vat of nitro glycerin!

ChinaJoy, China's E3 equivalent, is a testament to China's commitment to opening its economic doors, with booth babes galore, many of which are truly attractive. Combined with China's growing cosplay love, these women--sorry, babes--are a sales and marketing force to be reckoned with, especially as China expands its gaming markets internationally to include the old, white, sweaty and hirsute old lonely men demographic, where it has already shown tremendous potential.

Honestly though, any country that doesn't prevent its women from using their sex appeal to sell shit, it's gotta be on the right track economically. I could blather on, but you'd probably rather just enjoy browsing the babes of booths at ChinaJoy 2009:



(Photo Credit: Frank Yu)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Chinese drywall effin up your Xbox


I'm sure Microsoft would like to find any excuse other than their own crappy manufacturing process for the huge number of Xbox360s that have RROD'd themselves to death, but the fact is, the build quality sucked for a couple a few years.

Still, I won't say that it's impossible that Chinese drywall is responsible for some of those deaths. It's been a growing scandal leading to possible class actions suits for several months now, causing electrical problems among many other serious issues:

  • persistent rotten egg odor
  • respiratory or other symptoms alleviated by leaving a building and worsened on return
  • blackened and corroded metal, including copper, nickel, silver and/or stainless steel
  • premature failures of central air-conditioning evaporator coils
  • blinking lights or power failures
  • arcing or sparking
  • intermittent operation or failure of appliances such as refrigerators and dishwashers and electronic devices such as televisions, computers and video-game systems

(Thanks Gamepolitics via Getmogames!)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

EA's Battlefield 2: a chance to fight for the PLA!


According to EA's Battlefield 2 website:

In Battlefield 2, players will choose to fight for one of three military superpowers: the United States, the Chinese, or the newly formed Middle East Coalition.
Sweet! I hope it recreates the Long March and other Communist triumphs, that sure would be exciting.

China bans electro-shock therapy for IA


And what is IA? INTERNET ADDICTION!!! A rampant epipandemic in Asia only for some reason. Must have something to do with those Asian Addiction genes, East Asian to be precise.

But really, frying kids brains with electrons who were already frying their brains with electrons? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Then again I am only feigning shock (pun intended) at China surprising the world. Really, what can China do anymore that the rest of the world will find truly surprising?

(thanks Joystiq!)

Monday, July 6, 2009

China tastes the vinegar at WCG Asian Championship


Upset by Vietnam in DOTA? I'll pretend to show shock at this stupendous upset, the shock I would show if I knew anything about how good China has been at DOTA.

Match results:

DOTA All StarsGuitar Hero World TourFIFA 09
1st rank: Vietnam 1st rank: New Zealand 1st rank: Vietnam
2nd rank: Malaysia 2nd rank: Singapore 2nd rank: Korea
3rd rank: Singapore 3rd rank: Chinese Taipei 3rd rank: Malaysia

This year, there were lots of unexpected results especially from Vietnam. In the DOTA All stars quarter finals, Vietnam won against China, who was the champion in Asian Championships during last 2 years, and won the gold medal. Vietnam also won gold medal in FIFA 09.